You could sit and day dream that you have become a perfect human, or you could assess yourself realistically and see how far you have improved.
I had thought I had become quite calm...but situations showed me that I am still far from that goal.
So, when you assess yourself and know that you have more to go, what do you do?
Get depressed? No.. that was the old me.
The new me, acknowledges that there is work to be done and "I can do it".
So, a long way to go to achieve calmness, but I do acknowledge that I have made progress.
The calmer you are, the better decisions you take.. the more careful you are with words (you don't hurt others unintentionally, like I did yday)...the sweeter you can be.
Being centered and calm is essential.
So what I actually found is, while I am transforming and taking in a new set of beliefs, ideologies, way of thinking and perception - which will take a while to sink in and become a part of me, I have no way to erase what's done.
When I was very sensitive, and when I was the old me, a few things happened. They are etched in memory in a certain way. There are regrets, worries, anger and resentment, hopeless relations.. everything. Since these things happened when I was a different person, I had taken them in. I have bad memories. They are stored somewhere. They pop up without notice. They cause chaos. So, it's getting challenging to deal with that - unconscious memories. I am ensuring that today, no new memories - of any kind - happy or sad, get etched, but I have the old baggage to deal with. The fears, regrets, helplessness, injustice - all of it pops up and it makes you go mad.
I need to cut off or cause a death of the old persona. That is not me anymore. That baggage is to be disowned. It's not easy to do that. Maybe I need help. But, it's essential for the old self to die so that the new changes can be installed properly. You have to die and be reborn every moment. One who does that, has a different life. He has no memories. He views the world afresh with whatever lenses he wears then. Is this what the Tibetan book of the dead says?
There is a beautiful quote from the bible.
For if a man is in Christ he becomes a new person altogether; the past is finished and gone, everything has become fresh and new.
So get rid of your old self, which made you live as you used to, the old self that was being destroyed by its deceitful desires. Your hearts and minds must be made completely new. You must put on the new self, which is created in God's likeness and reveals itself in the true life that is upright and holy.
I had thought I had become quite calm...but situations showed me that I am still far from that goal.
So, when you assess yourself and know that you have more to go, what do you do?
Get depressed? No.. that was the old me.
The new me, acknowledges that there is work to be done and "I can do it".
So, a long way to go to achieve calmness, but I do acknowledge that I have made progress.
The calmer you are, the better decisions you take.. the more careful you are with words (you don't hurt others unintentionally, like I did yday)...the sweeter you can be.
Being centered and calm is essential.
So what I actually found is, while I am transforming and taking in a new set of beliefs, ideologies, way of thinking and perception - which will take a while to sink in and become a part of me, I have no way to erase what's done.
When I was very sensitive, and when I was the old me, a few things happened. They are etched in memory in a certain way. There are regrets, worries, anger and resentment, hopeless relations.. everything. Since these things happened when I was a different person, I had taken them in. I have bad memories. They are stored somewhere. They pop up without notice. They cause chaos. So, it's getting challenging to deal with that - unconscious memories. I am ensuring that today, no new memories - of any kind - happy or sad, get etched, but I have the old baggage to deal with. The fears, regrets, helplessness, injustice - all of it pops up and it makes you go mad.
I need to cut off or cause a death of the old persona. That is not me anymore. That baggage is to be disowned. It's not easy to do that. Maybe I need help. But, it's essential for the old self to die so that the new changes can be installed properly. You have to die and be reborn every moment. One who does that, has a different life. He has no memories. He views the world afresh with whatever lenses he wears then. Is this what the Tibetan book of the dead says?
There is a beautiful quote from the bible.
For if a man is in Christ he becomes a new person altogether; the past is finished and gone, everything has become fresh and new.
So get rid of your old self, which made you live as you used to, the old self that was being destroyed by its deceitful desires. Your hearts and minds must be made completely new. You must put on the new self, which is created in God's likeness and reveals itself in the true life that is upright and holy.
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