Personality spilling

As posted earlier, I am going through a period of transformation. My axis is not stable. I am quite shaky on many days. I have learnt a lot of good as well as bad things. Somehow I am not able to see people with the same pure light that I earlier used to see. So, there is a lot of unrest inside - like a huge cauldron in which a soup is cooking. So what I can see is, this mixed personality spills over from personal life into other areas. I am very disharmonious when I meet people. Certain things - especially meeting people - makes me very shaky. I behave unpredictably. The calmness that I experience in solitude is completely shaken when I am with people and unfortunately I am dealing with guests at this shaky period. So, it's complicating things as I end up being harsh with people sometimes. I don't keep my cool.

This whole personality spilling thing is quite bothersome. I wonder how I can stabilise and prepare for my interviews. I wonder how my future relations with people will be like.

Meanwhile, our this month school magazine talks a lot about right action - abt being close to one's dharma, about pivoting oneself. These were wonderful thoughts which are helping me. Despite knowing our negatives or weaknesses we cannot change them in a day. It takes hard work and patience.. and time. We need to wait till then, to get rid of the negatives. Meanwhile other things will keep happening. It's difficult to perform when we're so confused and chaotic. I don't know how people do it...